Slugs accounted for most of last year’s squash plants, leaving us with a handful of UFO shaped ‘yellow scallops’ and a withered pumpkin that would’ve needed microsurgery to carve. Undeterred, we’ll try again this year with a few more varieties and are even offering them a new home.
There are spaces between the cider apple trees that haven’t seen a spade for years, are overrun with weeds and offer even less nutrient than a school dinner, which we’re steadily digging out for our ‘squash pits’. Working to the same theory as ‘runner bean trenches’ our pits are shovelled out craters which will receive food waste normally set aside for the compost bin and chopped up stalks from the tidied up Brussels sprout bed. In around six weeks they’ll be filled with a manure and soil mix and covered with cardboard. And more manure.
By the time the squash plants arrive in their new home the veg scraps will have started decomposing, offering their nutrients to the gluttonous cucurbits, while the cardboard should help suppress the equally greedy weeds. Then all we need to do is work out how best to stop the slugs from spoiling our smashing pumpkins.
Thanks to @Faeriefay for the headline. We were feeling uninspired and took to twitter for help. Other suggestions are below – if you think you can do better then crow about it in the comments box.
• You’d butternut forget to prepare your squash pit. @Lynnyrobbo
• Pitted squash. @Theatrenan
• Pitting our wits. @spitaldyke
• Getting dirty in the squash pit. @TheFeltFox
• Cucurbit deathcamp. @5olly