There was a nasty surprise waiting in the raspberry canes the other day. Whilst wandering over to rescue a few fruit from the pigeons, I came across a fully grown roe deer. I’d like to say that it sweetly nibbled a few juicy morsels before skipping off daintily through the cabbages, but unfortunately this one was dead. Proper, stone-cold, tongue-lolling dead.
I called The Allotment King over for help. He suggested I cover the body with wood, or the local badger population would ‘tear it to shreds in the night’. (His eyes glazed over at this point, presumably imagining a scene not too dissimilar to Hannibal Lecter’s kitchen). So with a heavy heart (and an even heavier wooded pallet) we covered the poor deer and went back home to call the council.
This should be the first port of call for anyone who goes through the same experience, as your local council are obliged to remove any dead animals from public places. They were pretty good to be honest, sending over a van the following morning and whisking the poor creature away for incineration.
Some fellow allotmenteers suggested that we should’ve carved up the unfortunate beast and feasted upon venison pie.
There’s no-telling what had killed the deer… he had no visible signs of damage so could quite possibly have died from poisoning.
We were not prepared to go the same way.
RIP Mr deer.